Teen Dating Violence |
Teen dating violence: sweethearts or a broken heart? By Deborah Boone, NCPC Staff Left unchecked, teen dating violence can escalate into violence in adult relationships. Intervention programs directed at preventing dating violence can teach teens how to engage unhealthy adult behavior. It has become an unfortunately common scenario: a young woman dates a Youngman who seems to be a sweetheart. Slowly things begin to change. The boyfriend expresses fewer and fewer affectionate words and more and more stinging, unending criticism. At first she shrugs it off as heavy teasing until the angry flare-ups in temper and violence become more frequent, followed by promises “never to do it again.” As time goes by, this type of abuse defines their relationship. Because of a false sense of shame, she doesn’t tell anyone—not even her peers other parents. She hopes that somehow things will change. But they don’t. Things actually get worse. Dating violence is a serious problem for society, not just because of the violence it inflicts on teens, but because research shows that left unchecked, the abuser may go on to become violent in adult life. At least one community program aimed at reducing violence, the Dating Violence Intervention Program has noted that some adult victims of abuse first met their batterers when they were teenagers. While the majority of batterers are violent only with their intimate partners, it is estimated that up to 10% of batterers commit acts of physical and sexual violence against other people as well. Many schools, colleges, and community organizations recognize teen dating violence is a serious problem. Increasingly, they arouse intervention programs and incorporate dating violence prevention programs as part of the school curriculum to prevent violence among students. In doing so, they may well prevent abusers from going on to become violent adults. The Dating Violence Intervention Program (DVIP) in Massachusetts grew out of a partnership between a treatment program for batterers and a shelter for victims. Established in 1986, the Boston-area program aims to “prevent boys and girls from learning to accept violence in their earliest relationships.” As the first program of its kind to introduce the issues of domestic and dating violence to youth in Massachusetts schools, the DVIP provides an extensive curriculum-based-program to prevent and intervene in relationship violence among adolescents. The program includes clinical counseling that provides young people with concrete tools to help them break the cycle of teen dating violence and reduce its harmful, long-term effects. The curriculum has also been used in Canada, New Zealand, and Australia. For more information on DVIP, go to www.transitionhouse.org/dvip. The Southern California Coalition for Battered Women (a member of the California Partnership to End Domestic Violence, www.cpedv.org, offers Skills for Violence-Free Relationships, an educational program for use with students ages 13 -18. Adapted for use by school personnel, shelter workers, and youth advocates, the curriculum incorporates lessons and lectures, role playing, and storytelling. The Williston,ND Network Against Teenage Violence, developed the curriculum, When Love Really Hurts: Dating Violence Curriculum. Established in cooperation with the community’s family crisis shelter, the four-session text is designed for incorporation into social studies, health, history, or psychology classes. A list of resources supplements the text. Call 701-572-0757 for more information. Lori Brittain, manager of Teens, Crime, and the Community in NCPC’s Children and Youth Department, says, “Teen dating violence is a serious issue for many teens engaged in relationships today. When speaking to young people about this issue, I’ve found that so many ignore some of the early warning signs of dating violence like jealous or possessive behavior or ‘playful’ slapping and shoving. It is vital that these young people understand the importance of setting appropriate boundaries within their relationships and know that help is available if they find themselves in an abusive relationship.” Whether the programs described above and others like them will have the desired effect of reducing adult violence as well as preventing dating violence among teens can’t be predicted. However, if the problem of teen dating violence is ignored, there will be more of the same: teen dating violence escalating into violent adult behavior. |
